midlifetreasures

5 yr-old Reg and Renz@3

“You look so happy, maybe you don’t have problems” …  I take this as the best compliment from friends! But it would have been a different story had they met me 20 years ago when people saw me differently.  Though I know myself better, for most, I was the problematic solo parent to two very young children.  I was judged to be indifferent, unfriendly, self-centered … and so I had very few friends who genuinely cared for me.  It was only my family who truly knew me, and that was enough.  I didn’t care what other people say ‘coz their opinion can’t feed my kids, send them to good schools and give them a decent upbringing.  That was my focus; that was my life!

It was a long struggle but giving up wasn’t among my options.  I fought every battle one day at a time. Though I didn’t win them all, I stood up courageously each time I fell.

I didn’t pray to make my problems go away, but I prayed for strength to overcome my difficulties.

I didn’t pray for a miracle, but I prayed for deeper understanding of my faith.

I didn’t pray for change, but I prayed for wisdom to know the true meaning of my life and what God wants me to be. I prayed hard and worked even harder believing our lives will be better – and it did.

Prayer changes things but you have to do your own part.

Today when people appreciate me, I’m constantly reminded of those trying times.  I do a reality check and ask myself … “what have I done, have I really changed”?   I’d proudly say yes, life has thought me well. It was a rough journey but I am now reaping the reward of my hard work. Those challenges allowed me to mature in faith and accept an imperfect world with the right attitude. Those challenges gave me reasons to count every small blessing as though it was a great miracle. That’s how I changed!

Looking back, I feel more blessed as I live each day of my golden years.  And I can’t accept those blessings without embracing everything life has thrown my way – the highs and lows – and everything in between. 

As I look through the horizon of my retirement years, there are specific things I want to do for myself. I mean it when I say I want to live my dreams NOW. I want to be spontaneous and take every opportunity when it comes. I can be happy because I know ‘who and what’ defines my happiness and fulfillment. I am happy because I know my purpose in life.

Because the world isn’t perfect, I can get impatient, I can complain and I can get upset. Life may throw another painful punch and knock me down once more, but I wouldn’t worry.

For now, I am determined to relax and be contagiously happy ‘coz in my heart I know … I’m too blessed to be stressed!