February | 2014 | midlifetreasures

Arrival in Wellington, 29 Dec 2013

Most migrants can relate with that melancholic longing to be with families back home. For someone who hasn’t been back to the Philippines in seven years, this is especially true. The last time we were all together was in a family reunion in Singapore in April 2010. An emotional recharge was long overdue, and so celebrating the new year with Nanay and Fr. Ronald was indeed a double treat!

It was Nanay’s second visit to NZ, her first taste of Kiwi life was in summer of 2009. Just as I wrote a tribute for my mother on her first visit, I’m too inspired to do the same to my brother whom I dearly missed.

Fr. Ronald left home for the minor seminary when he was barely 12 years old, just out of grade school. For a while, he was the youngest and the only boy among four siblings – the most awaited son – so to speak! He was the darling of the family until my mother unexpectedly became pregnant with Noel when he was about 10 years old. It was almost a miracle because my mother was then in remission from the ‘Big C’ while my father was already aged 67. But that’s another interesting story to tell.

It was one of those memorable days when he broke the news to my parents that he wanted to enter the seminary, no one expected such a family twist! I was 18 then and didn’t understand why and how he ‘listened to his divine calling’, but I was a witness to my parents’ struggle consenting their once único hijo to leave home at a very tender age. It wasn’t only hard for my parents – it was hard for him convincing them, too. He confined himself in prayer for several hours every night, until my parents granted his wish to pursue a vocation for priesthood.

While most families go on outings and watch movies, our Sunday afternoons were reserved for visits to the seminary. At hindsight, I’ve realized the hardship and patience of my parents for 13 long years. We were a family of modest means, it was humbling and at times uncomfortable, ensuring that we spend some time with him, share a meal, and bring his weekly laundry. Logistics was a real nightmare. We had to take the bus and use the pass-over in Guadalupe, looking like gypsies with baskets of food, fresh laundry (especially the long sutanas in hangers), mats and chairs, what have you! It wasn’t an easy journey, it was a vocation embraced by everyone to show our support and help him prevail over the challenges of seminary life. With God’s grace, Fr. Ronald was ordained as priest on 3 December 1992 at the age of 25.

Fr. Ronald’s Ordination Day

When I said I missed him, I meant more. I missed the chance to see him grow from a boy to a teenager, I missed the chance to take care of him when he was sick, I missed the chance to help him with his homework, I missed countless things an ‘Ate’ could have done to a younger brother. But I realized, those were nothing compared to what he intentionally missed.

Trekking at Mt. Kaukau near Newlands

This insight came when he got sick on the first week of their holiday after a few hours’ trekking. I haven’t seen him sick in ages so I was nervous. He told my mom, “just stay here beside me”, and he asked me to massage his shaky legs. While keeping his feet warm, I cried silently ‘coz I had a vision of him getting sick and growing old alone. It’s hard to contemplate on the perils of priests’ celibate lives, particularly when sickness and loneliness touch them. I have bothering questions in my mind, like “who will help him ease his physical pain?”…“who will visit him on his birthday and special occasions?”…“whom will he call for comfort in times of despair?” While four of us siblings have children who will look after us (hopefully) when we grow old, whom has he got? I wonder how his life would be when we’ve all gone before him.

But like a faithful servant, he doesn’t seem bothered by the things that worry me as his sister. So should I really worry for him? I must seek God’s grace and forgiveness for wavering in my faith. For it is written, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God” Philippians 4:6. So in God I rest my case.

a wacky shot after our house blessing

Come to think of it, my brother and I haven’t really spent a full month under one roof since he was 12. These 30 days gave me a different perspective of a sibling I didn’t get to grow up with. He surprised me with his cool antics I never knew he had! While not wearing his alb, he is a funny brother, a caring son, a cool uncle, and a cheerful friend. He is uncomplicated, happy and content in his simple life. I was wrong to think he missed a lot in our secular world, ‘coz maybe he has not missed anything at all. He chose a self-denying life dedicated to his vocation and the people of God he serves. That defines his happiness and fulfillment!

I couldn’t be more blessed than having him as my brother – I always pray for him and his ministry. And I invoke everyone to pray for your priest, pastor or minister. I feel a pinch in my heart to hear of erring priests who have gone astray. Let’s not judge them for not being perfect, they made bad choices, ‘coz they are one with us who share our human weaknesses! Let’s pray for them, too. But most of all, let’s pray for those who remain faithful to their exalted vocation, let’s pray for them in their needs.

“Lord Jesus, we pray to You for our priests. We ask that You give them the gift You gave Your chosen ones on the way to Emmaus:

Your presence in their hearts, Your holiness in their souls, Your joy in their spirits.

And let them see You face to face in the breaking of the Eucharistic bread. Amen.”

Bye for now, Nanay and Fr. Ronald. Thank you for 30 unforgettable days! In the midst of our busy lives, thank you for bringing Dave, Regine, Lorenz and I together for a family adventure we hardly had.